On Formal Attire and Events

A well-fitted suit is an essential to every man’s wardrobe. The suit is a versatile garment that can be worn for any number of occasions. The two most important are work related and formal events.

Suits have been around for a long time; the 17th century is where modern style developed. Never too baggy, the tailored suit has always been a mark of intelligence, reverence and wealth and has been adapted by many types of jobs, basically any that require a uniform. In some ways, a suit is nothing more than a fancy uniform.

Though suits can be expensive, it pays to be dapper in today’s society. As one popular saying goes, ladies like a man in uniform. It plays on their drive for mate selection. If a guy’s got it together enough to be wearing a suit, that must mean he is successful, and if he’s successful, he’ll be able to take care of me. And our offspring.

Formal attire, clothing in general, is a human invention, and with human inventions come learned behavior. It is tough to say whether or not someone who is wearing a suit is successful or not. It depends on what success means to them and what success means to you.

But even beyond that, a suit is nothing more than two or three pieces of matching clothing that fit a person well. Though this looks “nice,” there’s really no reason to believe a suit means anything different than wearing nothing at all. But cultural norms and stigmas run deep.

What if, say, instead of showing up to a funeral in formal attire, it was traditional for everyone to show up naked? A level of humility and unity with the dead was thought to be achieved, as well as a connection to the earth: we all return to it the way we began. Does that sound outlandish? Naughty? Disrespectful? In some cultures of the world, this has been and still is a regular practice today.

I once went on an interview for a position that in no way required formal attire. There was one other interviewee that was a bit older than me and decked out in a pinstripe suit that fit him horrendously. His suit jacket looked like it would burst if he made too quick of a movement.

Needless to say, I got the position over this joker, but not before being publicly lambasted by the interviewer. It was more of a power trip on his behalf, I was better dressed than the interviewer himself, for really my only faux pas was in not wearing a tie. The man never looked me in the eye, and I thought that was odd, having nailed almost all of his questions; he just stared at my gullet.

At the end of the interview, to make his point, he spoke in a voice that shook the cubicle walls. He was the only male in the office, the cock to the harem of hens; maybe he thought it’d be funny if all the old birds heard him. “You got the job. But a little fatherly advice: wear a tie next time. And a suit wouldn’t hurt.”

I would have taken this man seriously if it hadn’t been for the lanyard around his neck holding his keys, so that when he stood up to shake my hand, they jangled against his potbelly. His shirt wasn’t even tucked in, and it was the kind of no name over-sized pullover cereal companies send to customers who collect enough boxtops.

An interview must be considered as a formal event. Wear a suit, even if it’s for a job you know you’ve got. But one would hope that any interviewer in their right mind could tell what’s in front of them. You can dress a gorilla up in a suit, but in the end, it’s still just a gorilla.