On Complaints

Written by Mike Parish, Illustrated by Dan Tarnowski
On Complaints

We’ve received a lot of complaints from people we know and people we don’t know about the lackluster representation of On Lives in the online world. Since our book dropped, things have slowed down considerably. Are we working on new projects? Are we working on more books? Are we working on more posts?

The answer to all of these questions is a resounding, “Yes.” But what can we say: one thing has led to another, new ideas outside of the On Lives domain have been flourishing in our brains. For the past month, On Lives, has unfortunately taken the back seat. I regret not having posted posts on the winter holidays or the new year, but now that they’re past the only thing left to do is move on.

In addition to Dan and I’s return, we’ve got some new (and old) contributors with essays and comics on the way. We’re going to do two or three posts a week from here on out. My friend John said it was inexcusable to not have posted anything for the past month; it was the equivalent of having had a job which we suddenly stopped showing up to. Perhaps that was precisely the problem: Dan and I have never liked having jobs for any extended period of time. We had to take a step back and reassess our relationship to On Lives, remember the days when it was something we did because we wanted to, not because we felt we had to.

_________________________________

To: OnLives Corporation
CC: New York City Better Business Bureau
CC: Michael C_____, Attorney at Law

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with the customer service I received from OnLives Corporation. To start off, I was not pleased with the packaging my book arrived in. Although the condition of the item was perfect, it was protected by nothing more than a paper mailing envelope. This type of packaging is not acceptable, and highly unprofessional.

The fact that this item was successfully delivered to my house was a great surprise to me, as it was addressed to me with a felt-tipped marker in galactic inscription. Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of my entire customer experience was the lack of a printed invoice with my order. Although I was emailed a digital receipt via your online payment processor, I expected a packing slip at the very least.

I would like you to forward this letter to your management so they can take the appropriate actions. Your shipping department showed callous disregard for your company’s procedures, which projects a corporate culture of negligence and disrespect for customers. I expect an apology, a refund, and $10 cash immediately.

Sincerely,

Seth J. A___

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